My untold love
by AkiPocky
Summary: YaoiRape. My first Fic ever! But anyway Kyo and Yuki like each other but can't tell. But telling and getting rejected is better than what they go through. R&R please be honest! YukixKyo. Chapter 10 up now!
1. kyo 1

My Untold Love

A/N- My first fan fic ever! I'm really excited and hope you all enjoy it! RR! Please be honest.

If you think it sucks please tell me why so I may make future stories better!

Disclaimer: All charecters in story are not owned by me. Only plushies of them!

-Kyo's POV-

"Where's my socks" I yelled from inside my room, I had woken up late. Today was the day for the big indurance run at school, I had to beat yuki this time! No interuptions this at this one! He couldn't back down! But it seemed that I already have a bad omen. I never wake up late..

Tohru came bouncing up the stairs holding a pair of socks. She had just finished cleaning them, along with all of my other clothes. I grabbed the socks from her grasp.

"Why are you doing laundry this early in the morning! shouldn't you be getting ready for school!?" I scolded her, she really didn't think sometimes. Actually most of the time..

"A-Anou..hai" She replied in a shooked yet cheerful expresion. Tohru than bounced back down the stairs to get ready for school.

When she left, my mind began to wonder to someone I loved that was in the next room. The rat I acted as if I hated so much. Yuki. I had never told anybody that I loved him. That is except Akito. Akito had told me the I would be hated and discusted by all those around me, most of all the one he loved. I always wondered what was so wrong with being in love with another of the same sex, I mean just look at Shigure and Ayame. They love each other and there both guys. nobody minds really.

As my mind began to ponderd through my past there was small a knock at the door.

"Yea?"

"And yet again my hopes would be crushed. Your awake, when there for a second I thought you would actually skip out on a challenge" Yuki spoke, as he entered the room. He couldn't let up a chance to degrade me.

"Shut up you damn rat!" I didn't want to yell at him, I honestly wanted to hold him and kiss him in the mornings but I had to make myself look like I really hated this silver haired angel.

"Well what do you want!?" I yelled again, hoping Yuki would leave soon so I could stop yelling at him.

"Wondering why you weren't awake yet" Yuki Replied to me "and hoping you were sick with a deadly disease" Yuki turned and walked from me room.

He didn't really hate me THAT much.. Did he? .. Someone please tell me he didn't really hate me at all!


	2. Yuki 2

YAY! I got reviews. And so far no flames!! Sorry all the chapters are short. I get writers block easily! lol. Well hopefully I will make a lot of chapters making up for the shortness! Any suggestions please share! I need help!

-Yuki's POV-

Why did I have to be so rude!? I love him. Yet every time I gain the courage to tell him just how I feel, I just blow him off.

"Why" I spoke aloud. I hadn't even realized it until Tohru had asked me what was wrong. I looked at her, my thoughts partialy else where.

"I'm fine Honda-san, please so not worry about me"

Gym class, I was getting ready for the boys to run the indurance race. In other words, getting ready to beat Kyo. I don't want to compete against him anymore! It's all Akito's fault too..

"Good luck Sohma-sama" Some fan girls called to him from a far. I just politily waved and wished them the same, then went back to thinking.

"Maybe I shouldn't even try to run" I thought. Than I wouldn't have to disgrace him by beating him. Yuki thought about this for a little while. No, I can't. Beating him is better than chickening out. Yuki went to the starting line to do his stretched. He gazed at Kyo, who gazed back. Except Kyo looked different. He looked as though he didn't want to go through with this race either.

A horn blew minutes later, signaling the start of the race

I took of and ran normally at first, Kyo thought it wise to use every last bit of his energy here and now. Kyo was only slightly winning.

"I'm gona beat you today even if it kills me!" Kyo yelled back Yuki's direction. I listened but wasn't happy about what I'd heard. I'd much rather lose than to go to a funeral where Kyo was the one lying pale in a- NO! I Can't think Like That!!

I just loved him SOO much, but was afraid to tell him because when I was younger I told Akito who only called me disgusting and beat me for even mentioning it. To him I was only a toy in his bed. His and his only. But Yuki didn't care. He'd take a thousand beatings and nights in Akito's bed if he could just have Kyo. Even if just for one night! But like that was possible.

After about 5 more minutes of running Kyo and yuki had passed everyone already. Except, that is, the girls. They had already finished by now. So they where all back at the school,resting and waiting.

Leaving us alone to face each other and for what!? To prove one was better than the other?! To push ourelves further from one another?! I pondered this, and came to a conclusion.


	3. Kyo 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket! And if I did... well I'd be rubbing it in your face right now! lol

A/N: YAY! 3rd chapter! Sorry it took so long! First... I couldn't update on the laptop. Than I couldn't find a way to get it to the PC. Than, all the chapters on my laptop got lost or deleted! And than this chapter got LOCKED so I had to RETYPE it! I couldn't copy and paste or ANYTHING to it! Well except DELETE it! Well anyway. Here are the latest reviews I got. Search through for your name, and see what I said! hehe! O and about the last chapter... and when I had the problem! and the first chapie was on here twice or something. I'm REALLY sorry! but it's fixed now! SO YAY! And also. About my chapters being SO short... well I write tham ALL out first! And fell... they look a hell of a lot longer writen out on paper! So I'll try typing them up faster and updating faster as well! I should have them all retyped in no time at all!

Uchiha Keizsha - I'm continueing now! YAY!

gallatica7 - I don't really like chocolate. But I'll continue anyway! And I'll try not to make anymore typos!

rAiNwAtEr - Yea, sorry about the shortness. I've got a really bad problem with that! I get writers block easily. And yes.. I did get more reviews!

imanut - Yea sorry about that. I think I've fixed it. And hopefuly it won't happen again! And hopefuly the story will get better little by little!

kloudy Reignfall - Yes, again. Gomen Nasai! Really! I'm sorry about all that! The chapters are nice and fixed if you'd like to go and read it now!

goatku - I can only try... But I will say now. I;m used to writing like this! I've typed and am RE-typing now (cause of stupid things+) up to chapter 8. So I will try to fix it all... But I can't and won't promise! Sorry... But anyway... don't hate me now! Hate me by the... 6th chapter! Even though you'll want to after the next!

spirtfox - Yuki and Kyo almost die.. um and you will all want to kill me later on! AND I'M A BIG FAN TOO! YAY!

yaoi-hunter - I AM! YAY! lol...

Well that was all so far! read and enjoy!

My Untold Love

Chapter 3

Kyo

I was panting hard. Wondering, wondering just what I was doing racing Yuki and why? That is until something caught my eye, Yuki was stopping. But why? I slowed my pace, and finally came to a stop, then turned to face him.

"Oi! Nezumi! What the hell do you think your doing stopping in the middle of OUR race!?" I shouted towards him. I really did want to, but you get used to it after a while. So after a while.. the pain doesn't hurt do much.

Yuki just stared back, he didn't look too good.

"Nee, you okay?" I started to worry. I thought he might have had an asma attack or something, but the nezumi wouldn't tell _me_ this, let alone trust _me_ to help!

"I can't do this anymore!" Yuki half yelled in my dirrection. This confused me. Was his ankle hurt? "I can't live this lie anymore!" Ok. I guesse that answers my question. But now I'm more confused than ever. What _lie_ had he lived? I'm so confused because I didn't know what the hell he was talking about! He just looked at me. Than our suroundings. He walked up to me and grabbed my right wrist hard and fast, and started to drag me to a near by alley.

"Hey! What the hell do you think your doing?!" I tryed to pull away from his hand, but his grip only got tighter. I tryed to pull from his new death grip, with a lot more force. That obviously didn't do anything, except hurt my wrist a lot. My wrist is definatly going to be bruised by the time I get it back. Yuki's grip only got tighter. I gave a grunt at the added pain. "Yuki..." I wanted him to let go, although I was curious to know what Yuki was going to do. But as I learned at a young age, curiosity kills cats and saddly, I was down to four lives. Once we got to the alley, Yuki pushed me ahead of him, and let go of my wrist.

"I can't lie to you anymore Kyo" Yuki spoke softly. I senced sorrow in his words, but I knew I couldn't comfort him. That would just do more dammage. "Kyo... I..." Yuki couldn't form the sentence. I mean he was actually speachless!

"Yuki... w-what..." I was still quite worried. Even though Yuki had already pulled away. "What do you think your doing?" I waited for my reply. When no reply came, I looked deep into his grey eyes. To see if they said what Yuki could not. But instead I only found tears. But why? Yuki pushed my body into a wall and leaned up to my face. What was going on!? Yuki has never in either of our lives come this close to my face. But.. this didn't surprise me nearly as much as what was in store for me. He pressed his lips to mine gently then swiftly moved away, turned, muttered something, and ran off. I wasn't fast enough to catch his wrist though, my head was spinning too mcuh. So I just banged my head back against the brick wall and thought. What if it was a trick? Then finally I got a headache. So slid down the wall and landed flat on my ass. Damn. I'm really confused now and even worse, I don't even know if that took a life, or gave me one.

TBC!

LOL! I like that ending! well anyway R&R! No flames please!


	4. Yuki 4

----Yuki----

I did it. I finally showed my feelings. But than why do I feel like I wanted to die now? I didn't know what to do once I had stopped running. I don't even know why I stopped! All I knew is that I couldn't stay there looking at the one I so badly wanted, no.. the one I needed. Yet still...

When I finally realized I had no clue where I was, I looked around, seeing a building that looked familure to me I read the nameplate.

My eyes grew in terror. It was the main house, that damned place I never wanted to return to. I could just hear the voice of my tormenter behind me.

'Oh Yuki I've missed you so much. Why haven't you visited me?' I shuddered at the voice in my head, the breath of that man behind me. Then his arms rapped around me, pulling me close. Wait, why did these arms feel real? Wasn't this just my head!? Please.. Please it's not real!! Please!!

"Yuki? ...Yuki? Did you hear me?" The dark figure called out my name. Sounding as though he was to actually care about me. But I knew they didn't. Just as I knew he was really there. I just stayed like that, frozen, hardly a breath escaped my lips. Hoping that he would disapear.

"Yuki. If you don't answer willingly. I will make you answer through force." My eyes widened at his words. The thoughts of past 'lessons' this 'God' had taught me, lessons that made me tremble at the bones.

"Yuki"

"yes" was all I could say at the moment.

"Remember that promise I had made to you at the opening of the school year. That if you didn't come to visit me I would have to... teach you a lesson." Akito said in a somewhat seductive way. The kind that made you want to breakdown and cry. "Well you never did visit me, did you?"

I tried to pull away as Akito tried to pull me towards his room, I know it would only make it worse. "My dear Yuki, you know resisting doesn't work. Just except your punishment, and go along with it. You'll find it really isn't all that bad. You might even enjoy it" My struggling increased, I even tried to claw off his arm, but to no avail. The fact that Akito was much stronger than me didn't aid me one bit more.

When Akito finally got me to his room, he shut and locked the door. I saw there was no way out, yet still didn't want to register it into my mind. The other started to walk to me, slowly and calmly, and with every step forward I took backward. That is of course until I ran into a wall I looked for any way out any all, but of course. There was only a window that remained sealed, it had mocked me since I was young

"You can't open it Yuki, you know that" He was now standing right in front of me. "Just give in" Akito lowered himself, just barely, so that he was matched in height with me and pressed his lips to mine, being gentle at first but then rough and hard. I struggled to go through the desk, or anything, just so long as Akito would get off me and never find me again but it never happened. Akito just simply kept kissing me.

He tried to slide his tongue into my mouth, but I held my teeth firmly shut. Akito growled and bit my bottom lip, causing me to yelp, and Akito to push his tongue deep inside my mouth. He explored my mouth, loving every squirm I involuntarily made, enjoying my tounge as it dodged his own, enjoyed my horrible attempts at trying to get away. But of course I couldn't fight him off. He was always too strong, or had something to make me stay. Akito finally pulled away and spoke in a harsh way

"Yuki we either do this here in my room, in front of everyone, or in your special little room I built _just for you_" The last three words were greatly emphasized. My eyes widened, thinking about each one, the terrors they all held. I didn't want any of them ut than again, I didn't want any of this. I didn't even want this family! Well save for one cousin. Kyo. I always wanted Kyo to come in and save me. I always dreamed of him coming in and taking me far away. Ever since I was a child, but that wouldn't happen. Nothing good Happens to me. Nothing at all.

Akito started to rub against me. I moaned by reflex. Akito had never tried to force himself on me like this before. Actually no one had really. So I was, naturally, a virgin. Well, that is, at least for the next 10 minutes or so, than it will be ripped away. Just as this flase god had started to do with my shirt. I gasped as he started to play with one of my nipples. I cursed myself a thousand times for feeling pleasures in which I did not intend to feel. Akito bent down more, and started to chew on the small bud. I would have much rather had killed myself! I was enjoying this! All of this! Akito started to kiss down my body, slowly and painfully, until he got to my belly button. Then he started to dip his tongue into the little space.

"Akito please... stop," I begged through labored breaths. Akito simple ignored me, and started to take off my pants.

"No!" I pushed at Akito's chest. Clawing at his hands to get him away. Than I did the last thing that came to mind to get Akito off me, I brought my knee up to his groin and ground it in. Akito's eyes went wide as he fell to the floor. I used the time wisely to get away. I had no idea where I was going to go but of course, with my luck, I didn't get far. A few steps and Akito was back up. He walked to me, this time pissed as all hell. He raised his hand and smacked me hard, sending me to the floor.

"Would you like to go to your special room!?" akito yelled picking me up by the hair and tossing me to the side. "WELL!?"

"NO! Please No!!" I struggled more and more, but it was to no use. Akito just tightened his grip and dragged me out the door and down then hall.

There were voices ahead of us. Please no! Don't let anyone see me! Please!

"Oh Haa-kun. But you must come, you must!" It sounded like Ayame. I didn't want my brother to see me like this, especially not him.

"Please Akito. Don't do this." I was crying by this point. I felt the liquid salt flow from my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I was about to go into that godforsaken room and I had to pass my brother to get that room. That room where my innocents is now to be ripped from me.

"Shut up.. or I'll bring them into the room with us" He growled.

The voices sounded closer now. They where right around the corner.

"Ayame, you know how busy I can get. Besides isn't Shigure going to the fashion show?" At this moment Hatori and Ayame looked at me and Akito walking towards them. Sympathy on there faces, as they saw the head of Sohma and a nearly naked, soon to be broken youth following. My pants were sliding off one hip as I passed. They watched as we went down the hall and made a left, they both knew where we were headed, and wanted to stop it but of course, what could they do? What have they ever done? They stayed silent heads still turned to where we had disappeared at the corner. I hadn't expected any less or more. Especially from my brother, I looked up to him a lot and evied him. He always looked happy and smiling, he had friends and family to love him and protect him. I even protected him once, though he doesn't know. It was the day after he left me to be beaten for the umpteenth time.

What did I do to deserve this? I started to hiccup from holding back his sobs. We weere at the door to the room by this time. Akito opened it slowly and started to walk in. I struggled for a while but soon followed, slowly, and tugging every now and again with hopes and wishes of the others hand just breaking off. Though deep down knowing that too was impossible.

Akito walked over to one wall, where there were three chains coming from it. I pulled back twice, but than Akito just threw me into the wall. I hit it hard and rough.

"Sit" The other hissed. My mind had started to slip from me now. I crouched down and put my hands over my head, shaking it back an forth as if saying no and rocking like a small child. Akito wanted to laugh at me but held it down and connected the chains, my hands were chained to my sides but still slack so I could pull them close to my body, but not stop this bastard's fun. And the last chain was around my neck. Akito started to take my pants the rest of the way off, taking my boxers down with them. I squirmed slightly, fear coursing through my body. I struggled as best I could with the restrictions of the chains. But Akito just sped up the process.

My Pants finally off, Akito got up and walked away, I was puzzled as to why. He had never walked away before. Akito was now out of sight, due to the darkness. I heard something like a cabinet open, and looked in the direction of the sound, but still saw nothing. Than I heard the padding of his feet as he come back in my direction. I looked towards the sound of the feet walking. He had something in his hand, but I couldn't tell what. I pushed myself as far into the wall as my body would allow. finally back to me, Akito leaned down, pressing his lips to mine once again. I struggled backwards, but only hit my head on the wall. The god grabbed my chin, and forced me to stay still. I wanted to push him away, but couldn't due to the chains. The best I could do was cry. I was in this room. This room in which I was filled with memories of Akito's lessons and now here was another lesson for me to remember, during the next lesson. I wasn't going to deny it! There was going to be a next time. There always was a next time, and more memories to fear for the time after that. Since Fear feeds Fear, it only grows, as it was doing to me me whole.

I now felt something around my nearly hardened cock, it was pushing into the side. It felt sort of like an egg, but than there was a tight band around it, keeping it attached close down to the base. And I couldn't look down due to the fact Akito was still kissing me. Allowing me air every so often. Akito picked something up with his free hand, and I could feel a wire hit my leg.

I tried to scream, but Akito wouldn't let me move from his lips. My dick was vibrating! It was now, of course, that I realized Akito had attached a vibrator. I began to moan into Akito's mouth and I cursed myself every time I did so. Of course the sick bastard was enjoying this. Every bit of it! Akito decided to distach his mouth from mine, probably to hear my full out moans. But to his dismay, I only held them back. So he turned the vibration up higher. I screamed again at the sensation. The god smirked at my unwanted pleasure.

"Enjoying yourself, my dear Yuki-chan?" Akito saw me try to glare but instead I only made a funny face. I could see his control was slowly slipping. He started to slip out of his robe.

As Akito tossed the robe I could see a very large errection, I knew I was going to be in a lot of pain soon. I moaned again from the vibrator and I heard a small laugh come from Akito. I was really learning to hate this thing.

Akito kissed me again, but this time only a peck, before turning off the vibrator and pulling out to more chains which he used to chain my legs apart.

"No!" I knew in my heart it was futile, but my mind never registered that. "please don..." I couldn't continue due to a gasp. Akito had entered a finger into me, and was starting to wiggle it around. I started to lightly sob on my leader's shoulder.

"It'll all be fine soon" Some how Akito's voice wasn't comforting me.

He grabbed the controller again and turned it up about half way. I gave a yelp, followed by a loud groan. I thrust forward, Akito's finger slipping nearly entirely out. But Akito caught me to soon, and jammed it back in. I groaned out over his shoulder. He added another finger and I winced for a few moments.

"Akito... please... ah s-stop" I grimmaced as Akito spread his fingers apart.

He removed his fingers, I knew what was coming but I thought of nothing I could do to stop it. Akito moved and postioned at my hole. I squirmed around trying to delay Akito, but that was no help, he only pushed inside of me hard and fast. Screaming as I was entered, being ripped apart. I started to cry out

"STOP! A-AKITO PLEASE!!" I tried to pull myself up off of Akito, but he only pulled me back down with more force. Cloaking himself entirely inside me once again. I screamed harder than before. Nothing Akito had ever done was this bad. And I was sure the whole house knew that as well now.

My breath came in short bursts between screams, my mouth open wide. I wasn't able to shut it.

"AKITO PLEASE! JUST STOP!!" I pleaded, but Akito ignored me.

"You know what your really getting on my nerves!" Akito's voice sounded threatening. "I shouldn't even give you the vibrator to relief some of the pain."

"I DON'T WANT IT!"

Akito smiled "oh really?" He turned the vibrator back on and started slipping it closer to my balls.

"NO!! AKITO PLEASE!! I-" I stopped to think of what I'd say next. What would I do? come to live at the main house again? Certainly not. For all I knew, if I did that this could become a weekly, maybe even a daily thing! Akito read my mind or seemed to for what he said next.

"You'll what? come live with me? Yuki you know you won't, don't even try it" Akito was good at this. He knew me too well for my comfort. Hell! He even knew my body well!

"PLE-..."

Akito cut me off with a low growl. "Maybe if you played along I'd go easy on you." He turned the vibrator off.

At first I was pleased that it was gone but that would all change soon. The offer didn't sound very good to me either, until Akito pulled out. I bit back a loud scream and substituted with small whimpers. Akito then thrust back in rough and hard only to pull back out again. I couldn't help but throw my back now and scream in pain.

'play along and I'll go easy on you' Akito's words kept floating around in my head. It hurt like all hell already! But if he were to 'go easy' on me and maybe even stop all together soon I would gratefully go with it. I got enough courage to hop on his lap once, a wave of pain swept through my body and I screamed again. Akito moaned out "Oh yea do that about five more times and I'll keep my promise" He was smirking! The bastard had a big fat smirk planted on his face!!

"Well?" Akito questioned.

Five more times. I can't do it five more times! Though, I didn't have much of a choice did I?

I hopped again, with the same results, a scream and a moan, but this time I was louder.

Again, and the same results, the volume got louder as well.

Again, screaming louder. Two more times. Thats all. I was loudly sobbing and it only got harder to do this with the over-welming pain and harsh breathing.

I hopped again. The volume only changing slightly. 'Once more, that's all'

I hopped once more screaming loudly again. He smacked my already abused buttocks which was throbbing, along with my throat, due to all the yelling.

"aww, and here I was hoping you weren't going to make it" Akito replied kissing my head. He pushed the small vibrator firmly against my balls, and set it on high. I started to scream in pleasure, as much as my throat could allow. Akito thrust into me hard and fast. I screamed and started to loose my voice. Surly enough my screams were only a small shrill cry.

I started to get close to my climax. I didn't want it. Not from Akito. I'd rather have it from my own brother than him, but I couldn't tell Akito this. In about three more seconds I came all over mine and Akito's stomachs. Akito came only seconds after. This of course hurt, seeing as I was destroyed on the inside. I finally passed out from all the pain, and collapsed against the chains. They probably cut into my wrists from the preasure. This was another thing I didn't want to do. I realized now, that I should have just stayed with Kyo. Put up with any yelling of how disgusting I was. It was better then this. Cause once I get home. I'll get that too.

------

I awoke sometime later. I was no longer in my "special" room, but in my actual room. Though I was still at the main house. I had been clothed once again, though in a robe now. I eventually couldn't stand staying at that hell house any longer, so I got up, wincing at the pain that coursed through my body and fell back down on the bed.

I tried a few more times before I finally, on the third try, got up and went to the door. I turned the door knob. I turned it again. I jiggled it franticly.

Locked

I looked to my window and my eyes widened. There he was. He was smiling at me. He was saying something on the other side, but I couldn't hear him. I read hs lips.

'I Love You'

My heart fluttered. My orange haired angel had come! He actually came! It doesn't matter he's late! He loves me and he's here to-

No.. Yuki stop doing this to yourself! It only hurts you more! He wasn't really there. My mind had them there. My mind was still playing the scene. At this point I crawled out the window and he kissed my lips, then we-

NO! STOP! I cast the fantasy to the back of my mind. I don't want to live off false hope. I walked to my dresser and removed fresh clothes. After pulling them on I moved to the window that lacked my fantasy and opened it. They must not expect me to defy them so easily. I slipped out and into the night, hidden by it.

I walked aimlessly through the town. I let my mind slip away inside myself. I let it hide from the world. But I mostly let it hide from the truth.

TBC

Well Hope you enjoyed this chapter, because I had to erase the original. IT SUCKED! Like even more than a Japanese vacume (You know how they everything better than we do!). It was originally: Yuki ended up at an alley and some random guy shows up and rapes him... corny! I saw this as I typed it. But never changed i for a while. Well until I got chapter 6 typed and figured. This chapter needs to be better. So really!

Yuki - see what she puts me through!

Kyo - See what I have to cheer up!

Ichigo - So... This is fun!

Yuki - if only you all knew of the next couple chapters.

Ichigo - O SHIT! runs

R&R GLOMPS TO ALL!

especially for Natsuki Takaya

If not for her. There would be no Fruits Basket.

Oh and to her mom, for creating her... oh and her dad.

oh and there parents.

And there parents

(This is going to keep going you might as well just go)

And there parents

And there parents

And there Parents

(I said to go!)

And there Parents

And there Parents

And there Parents

(OH JUST GO ALREADY!!)


	5. Kyo 5

A/N- WOO HOO!! I found all the original copies! I just have to retype them now - yippie.. but! It's going good so far! Hopefully I'll behaving these chapters up quickly! But out with some REALLY horribly bug.. I hope NONE of you get it.. you seriously feel like you are going to die and at one point think you will .. it sucks - I THOUGHT it was the flu.. but then it lasted three days - today is day three.. bleh (8-13)

Disclaimer- I don't own Furuba! And I'd rather not, I wouldn't be able to handle it as well as it's owner already does -

----Kyo 5----

I gave up looking for yuki. It was now eight o'clock and I had started looking for him when he first ran away... That was over eight hours ago. I started to head home, hoping that Yuki was already there and unharmed. Though my gut said otherwise.. I never was able to win in any type of situation.

I started to think about what Yuki had said before he ran off.. "daisuki" His voice rang in my head. It had sounded like 'dies yuki' to me at first.. Thousand of ideas came to mind of what it could have meant, but none sounded right until daisuki came to mind. I only wished he had stayed so I could have told him the same.. Why did he have to run!?

I finally made him home, running into the house, I didn't even bother to take off my shoes. I went straight to Shigure's office and opened the sliding door. "Shigure, has Yuki come home yet?" I caught the concern in my voice,but was it in time? I hoped Shigure hadn't realized it. I decided to change up my words some. So I toughened my voice some and spoke again "That damned rat ran out on our race!" I hoped they wouldn't ask questions.

"No, he hasn't" Shigure replied. "Why? Are you actually concerned for Yuki?" Shigure was teasing, but I couldn't let down my guard. I had to shout something back.

"Shut Up! How Could I Ever Like That Damned Rat!?" Shigure obviously got the reaction he had hoped for, he was smirking between dignified sips of his tea.

"I'm Going Out!" I yelled as I stormed back to the door. Though I was happy I didn't get anymore questions.

I walked around down town. I had looked everywhere! Allies, stores, back at school. EVERYWHERE! Hell! I even checked the local animal shelters!

There was no trace of him. Only a horrendous smell in an Alley with small traces of Yuki's scent. I hoped Yuki had just passed through here, hoping even more he wasn't hurt. I didn't know what I would do if he was!

I walked farther on, no sign of Yuki. I walked through the alley, taking turns where I smelled Yuki's scent going through. I made it through the alley and his scent stopped. Dammit! I turned to go back in. That's when I saw a patch of grey in the crowed. I searched long and hard for that grey again. It was Yuki!! It had to be!!

And there he was! I saw Yuki walking into another alley and I followed quickly. The side walks where empty except for some late night walkers by now, so it was easy to get through them. I followed Yuki through the alley but something was strange. Yuki was limping and looked in serious pain every time he moved, even his breathing looked horrible!

We were getting to the end of the alley way. I hurried to him, I wanted to get him to stop and to stop the pain as well. I moved quicker and when I was behind him I wrapped my arms around his body and and nuzzled his neck "Yuki, you don't have to hurt anymore. You should know how I feel about you. I want you to be mine, Yuki"

But what I didn't realize then is that I was going to regret that move for the rest of my life.

Yuki tore away from me screaming "I HATE YOU! GET AWAY FROM YOU BASTARD!! I'D RATHER DIE THAN BECOME YOU'RE ANYTHING!" he didn't even bother to look at me. I was too shocked to move. To shocked to stop what happened next.

A car turned the corner at a high speed, in fact.. way too much speed. The driver seemed out of control for the car surely was not.

"YUKI" I shouted. He turned around and shouted he hated me and that he'd wanted to die. Than his eyes jerked to his left as he noticed bright lights through his clenched eyelids, he was blinded by them. All he could see was try and shield his eyes from the two lights speeding towards him. Too bad that's all he could shield

"MOVE DAMN IT" I shouted, hoping it would trigger something in him to move, jump, Something, Anything. Just so long as he moved!

But he didn't.

Yuki took the impact of the car to his side, sending him across the street and rolling only feet away from me. I stood. I was numb. Unable to think. Unable to speak. There were shouts around me for an ambulance. People shouting and crying all around me. Then the world seemed to go black.

TBC

Alright! Sorry everyone! I'm commenting from 2006 on.. - God I feel horible for taking soo long!!.. QuestionReality - I felt really bad writing that for him - and! Thank you so much! yes.. the chapters are long I know.. But I am trying!! I just can't think of much when I'm writing/ typing and everything - I'm going to try and update 2 at a time or something.. I'm not sure yet.. And Your FB fic! If I have read it I'll be sure to go and review on it! I'll just need to find the tim, I am sorry! I am really getting swamped with school starting - mousecat - Thank you!! I just feel bad because there are SUCH better writers out there.. automailgurl - I'm sorry it took SOOO long!! But here it finally is!! coming back to life!! - 


	6. Kyo 6

A/N Wow... shoot me. go ahead. I deserve it! TT-TT I SUCK at updating this stuff.. really.. Okay.. SO! I'm TRYING to stay faithful and I WANT to update two chapters at a time.. but yea.. I'm also currently trying VERY HARD on my grammer and spelling. I know it's atrocious (Is that right?) Don't ever be afraid to correct me. Really! - By the way! Yuki is a little unable to respond sooo... it's Kyo for a few chapters.. If anyone has any good ideas for what to happen next, please share!! -

Disclaimer: Don't/never will/don't want to own Furuba because the world knows that no one can handle it like Natsuki Takaya 3

--Kyo 6--

They were talking. They were talking to me. They were talking to me about an accident. An accident.. The accident. The accident I just witnessed. The accident that shouldn't have happened. The accident I could have avoided. The accident... It was The accident... I couldn't stop it? I should have stopped it. The accident. It was my fault. The accident.. But it wasn't. I didn't push him. But I didn't stop him. Him... People. People are staring. People are looking at me. They look at me differently. They look sad. Sympathetic. Angry. Worried. Accusing eyes all around me. People. They think I killed him. People... Him. He was right there. He stood right there. He flew. He fell. He bleed... Blood. His blood. The car. Red. Blood. Red car.. Bloody red car. His blood on the car... More talking... What's that noise? Like steam. Steam puffing. out... out... out.. it's puffing near me.. I can't move.. numb. Was he numb? Did he feel it? The impact? Did he see me? Did he feel me? ... Blood. His blood. I held him. My shirt. My shirt holds him still. His blood... The noise it's still going. Going... Am I going? Going crazy? To the hospital? Going away? Away... Take me away. Me... Him... We... There is no we.. Only a you and a me... him... you... Yu-... Yuki..

It took me the longest time to finally realize that it was my own breath I heard.. The puffing steam. It took so long for me to realize just what was going on. I knew. But I didn't except it. I still don't.. Not really. Not my heart. My mind won't tell me heart. Not yet. Not until my heart is ready. It's not ready. It's breaking. It will cause a shock for it... shock.. That's what I was just in. They same I'm still in it.. Shock.. That's what they said. "He's in shock" But He is not. I am. He ... He is not here.. He is not with me.

I was eventually taken back to my room. I only guessed as much because the sun was shinning outside my window and I was now sitting up on my bed. My whole body is wet and cold. I'm shivering. My face feels soggy... My pillow feels damp. I was crying?

The sun is shinning in my room now. It would be beautiful any other day. Why isn't it today? I curl up inside the blanket, still sitting up. I pull my knees to my chest and hug them tight. They are my doll. I feel lifeless.. I feel dead. Is he?

I vomited. When I think too much of him. I vomit. It doesn't look right. It's not right. It's not food. Food... I should eat. I'm not hungry.. I'm sick.. I need him.. I need him. But he's not here.

I'll fight you. I'll beat you. I'll scream at you. I'll hate you. Because I love you. Just come back to me.. you.. Yu-... Yuki... My Yuki...


	7. Kyo 7

Disclaimer: Don't/never will/don't want to own Furuba because the world knows that no one can handle it like Natsuki Takaya 3

--Kyo 7--

I'm eating now. I can't talk. I don't want to talk. I think a lot though. My mind is more clear, but it will start to wonder again when I think too much. They tell me I shouldn't think too much. But that's all I really can do is think. I won't speak. I don't speak to them either. They want me to speak. They say I'll "get better faster" soon. They say "It's what your cousin would want" I say bullshit. Or at least I would.. If I were talking, which I am not. Not to them. Not to anyone.. It's hard. Tohru cries when I don't talk. She wories. She wories a lot for Yuki. She goes to see him every day. I haven't seen him. I won't go. I can't see him. Not like that. That.. He's mangled.. He's bloody... Blood. Car.. Red car. Red blood.. Bloody car.. bloody.. He's-

No! I'm wondering again.I have to keep a clear mind...

The school bell rings.. It's been a week since the.. incident. I decided it wasn't an accident because accidents are avoidable and this wasn't avoided because I couldn't stop. If I could have I would have.. They say I should go back to school. They really just want me to talk. The teacher spoke to me. She would speak with me but I would need to speak. But I am not. She told me to talk to her. Told me I can talk to her. Told me she understands... told me she cares. She does. I can tell she does. But I don't. I don't care. I can't care. I don't let myself. I don't care about anything..

My anger is lower. My thoughts are short, but travel farther. I drink a little. It's not good. They say that too. They found out because of a test. They say the test doesn't lie, but if I think they are wrong and ever need to test again I can tell them. They just want me to talk. I'm stronger. Stronger than that. They won't beat me. No one can beat me. He would want me like this. He would want me strong. Strong like him. The teacher is talking about something. But the worlds melt together. If he was here he'd glare at me for not paying attention. But I can't understand her. She sounds like a fly when it's neside your ear. Has she always sounded like that? Everything sounds far away. Like I'm listening to a TV turned down low...

The day is short. I go home soon. Tohru walks with Hana and her yankee friend. I'm too quite for her I guess. I don't talk. All you hear is my feet on the ground or possibly my breath.. Will I loose my voice box if I stay like this for too long.. Probably. I don't need it anyways. Not for a while. Not until he wakes up. Him.. I miss him..

I walk into the house, neatly kick off my shoes and set them perfectly beside the door and slip on my slippers. I try to stay polite. I garden now. His garden. It needs caring and love. I don't talk to them. Not like he did. Because someone else might hear me. But I pet them. I show them they are beautiful and I love them. I love them.. I love him... My cheeks are wet again.. I'm crying.

His room. I clean it. Every day. I dust, sweep, search for dirty clothes. I keep it clean. I keep it nice. I make sure it would make him happy.. I'll blaim it on Tohru later.. He'll never know it was me.. He's coming back.. I know he is.

Diner that night. Tohru filled my plate again. She wants me to eat, but I'm not hungry. I ate very little before my stomach demanded no more. I earned disaproving looks. A very worried Tohru. I stood from the table and offered the food to the two of them.. I wasn't going to eat it.. I couldn't.. What was he eating now?

I go to the roof.. IT's quite.. it's peace. It's above his room. His empty room.. My heart is clutching.. I'm crying again.. I'm crying

THANKYOUS!!

kattastic999

Your comments were actually very helpful. You gave me a few good ideas. I have some of the chapters written in advanced, however. But I might do something like that for the next chapter seeing as I have no idea where else to go at this point. So thank you soo much!! I love how you really helped me!! -

rouge666

I'm glad you liked it! I usually SUCK at putting things into words and litteraly have to retype each chapter three times. -;; lol. Thankyou soo much!! -


	8. Yuki 8

Disclaimer: Don't/never will/don't want to own Furuba because the world knows that no one can handle it like Natsuki Takaya 3

Yuki 8

It feels wierd to use my body again.. They're letting me go today... It's been such a long time since I've seen the outside world.. I haven't seen the cat... He hasn't come. Does he not care? ... Of course he doesn't. .. Why do I care? ... Because I love him. Can I deny it? .. He probably hates me. To the core most likely. Can't stand me even..

The doctor has come in now and he's talking to me about what's going to be going on that day.. I wonder why I haven't been moved to the main house. Where's Hatori? Has he been speaking to the doctor?

"After speaking to your previous doctor about various condtions at your registered home we considered placing you back into the care of your .. Uncle's home I believe it was?" I don't try to correct him on anything.. I only stay silent and nod.. It's easier not to talk. "Then we will arange for you to leave later this evening."

More tests. More horendous food. If there's anything I miss about Tohru it's her cooking.. The food here.. The things they feed me. It's enough to make one gag. ... How I'v longed to see him.. I wonder if he is still residing in that house. My garden. What has become of it? .. I hope it is okay. Has Tohru taken care of it? ... I do hope so.

The sun is setting as I watch it from the car window. No one speaks.. Hatori, Shigure and I. We all sit in silence. I shot them both down on a conversation. Once when Shigure talked about how the house misses me. And another when Hitori asked how I was feeling. In wonderful english I felt like shit. Yes. I Yuki Sohma felt like complete shit. I just wanted to leave.. to disapear.. to go away. Nothing really missed me at that house. Nothing really waited for me. Shigure is always out for himself. Tohru is so naturaly conserned I wonder if it's actual concern.. And he... He doesn't care for me at all... The car stops... I'm here..

I walk, take off my shoes... I can smell it.. The cat. I smell him. He's here. Tohru comes and asks how I am doing. I smile a soft fake smile before taking my leave to my bedroom. I always do this. I close the window. I close the blinds. I climb into my bed and I gaze at the ceiling. Door locked. Window locked. And I gaze above me.. That's where he is. Above me.. I slide my eyes shut and my hand glides down the front of my shirt. I slowly slip the button from the hole and slide my hand inside. My mind swirls as I imagine him above me. Touching me. Caressing me. Loving me.. Making love to me..

I stop. He comes to mind. His hands. His touch.. Akito's touch.. I stop and turn to my side.. My body curls up and I begin to shake.. This always happens.. everytime.. It never stops.. I always do this.. I cry.. I convulse. I want to puke. That man.. that THING was inside me... He ripped everything from me.. He ripped away my Kyo..

I fell asleep on my wet pillow.. and I swear. I swear I wasn't alone when I was asleep.. Because when I woke up. My room smelt of a cat. And my pillow was dry.. a soft indent in my bed on my pillow.. the warmth... his breath. I smelt everything.. I felt everything.. I remember everything and nothing.. only sleep and his arms around me.. and one orange hair.. it layed gently on my pillow.. I stared at it for a long moment before pulling it in close to my chest and crying into it once again... I was home.

SO! That's another post!

How you guys liking it?

I'm guessing you do.. I'm getting a lot of alerts and favs.. but I want comments guys!!

I know. I know. You hear it ALL the time.. but come on!!

I really stopped this story a while back. No joke. Not wanting to post. Then I got one comment. ONE. And I thought.. I'm going to continue that.. Because SOMEONE actually liked it. I HATED this story. I went through and retyped EVERYTHING.. and I still hated it.. but I actually like it now - Because of that one person.. I get to see my work through..

BY THE WAY!! to kattastic999 I still love your ideas for this! Thank you SOO much for your love and support. I'm really considering your comment now that I've really hit my road block. I have NO idea to this ending. Obviously it's going to be tragic or pleasant.. and I'm not always for the disney fantasy.. then again they're fantasy never was so good as to have two prince charmings and not just one, huh?


	9. Kyo 9

A/N- Finally, no? So.. Here we are again. Another chapter. I loved the comments guys, thanks. Sorry for the update (kill me, no?) I've been engrossed in books, homework and (finally!!) a life. But blah blah blah, right? one with the story, I won't keep you longer

Disclaimer: only the plot is mine (does this count as a disclaimer?)

Kyo 9

I was in his room last night. I was almost caught. He started to wake.. he cried. I felt his tear soaked pillow. As I gazed at my own I realized they matched. Another tear rolled down my cheek, lingered on my chin and fell to my pillow. Perhaps this is all we can share. fleeting secret moments. Secret even to one another. and our tear soaked pillow. No matter.. Today was his first back. It's been over a month since the... day. That day. I won't say anymore. I know whatever vengeful God hears me knows this day. For only they could plan it. . . I still don't know what happened that day. With Yuki. He ran from me with so much hurt. I feel it now. Now that I can feel. I felt it last night. Something is wrong.. But none the less. Today I must go to school. Because I still have to hate him. I still have to be stronger than him. I still have to beat him. And I still can't love him.

I gazed around my room. It was so empty and clean. The window was opened to let in the crisp morning air. I tossed the covers from my body just as there was a slight bang at my door. I knew it was too rough to be Tohru. And Shigure has gone out of his way to avoid me these past weeks. It was him. My heart keeper knocking. He was warning me to wake up. He did this any morning that I wasn't up on my own. Such a hateful gesture, filled with love. i envy that love.

I was dressed and down the steps in no time, sitting with everyone at the table and eating breakfast. It was a normal morning. There was talk of what Yuki had missed, how diner was last night, how the council is doing without Yuki, how family members are doing, recent events. Normality. But it wasn't a normal morning. Yuki was here. Yuki was alive! He was finally home and.. and it was normal.. but it's not. It's not normal because something is wrong.. or am I wrong? .. Maybe I'm just misplaced.. It's not them.. Because I'm the cat. I was never meant to be here anyway. I took one last bite, half way through my food and stood, taking my dishes to the sink. No one spoke. No one asked. Not even him. Not even my heart keeper. No one questioned or acknowledged me as I walked to the door, grabbing my bag, and left for school a half hour early. As I began to slide the door closed the talk started up again. I was displaced.. this isn't a place for me. Not for a cat. It was absurd to think otherwise. But none the less I walked to school.

By now Yuki had missed so much in school. He was behind. But he didn't ask for help, especially not mine. He followed along and doubled his work load, as well as council work. He was pushing himself. Over weeks I stayed outside his window at night. Awaiting that light in his room to switch off. I fought to stay awake, and many nights I failed. Some nights I'd see the light switch off and I'd sneak inside.. I'd kiss him goodnight and flee to my own room..

But this night was different. His light switched off, but I knew he was awake. So I listened in for him as best I could. There was a soft, almost unaudible sound. So I crawled closer to the side of the roof. The noise came again and I knew what it was right away. It was a moan. A moan of great pleasure. I heard as they other male just inside writhed in his bed. Panted. Moaned. Mewled. Whimpered and pleaded. The was the best part. The pleading. Because when he pleaded, he used my name. I shuddered at the first whisper of my name. I was already hardening as well. It didn't take me long until I reached down and began stroking myself to Yuki's voice. I had to bite at my lip to keep myself from calling out to the other. I couldn't let him know I was here. But how I wanted him to know.. wanted him to call me to him. To just give up. I would give up any position in the zodiac for just one night with my Yuki..

My thoughts cut short as I felt myself nearing edge. My breathing got heavier as I tried to bite back my moans. Soft gasps and whimpers escaped, but I knew he wouldn't hear them. And finally I heard his release. He called to me and that was all I needed. I bit my lip hard, drawing blood, as i came on the shingles above Yuki.. But if the blissful moment I held was not shocking enough.. it was what came next. It was a whisper.. But I wasn't mistaken. But whether it was a whimper or a plea. or possibly more.. I wasn't sure. But he whispered it.. and he whispered..

"Akito"

end scene

No, not the end of the story.. but the end of the chapter..

Soo. I like it so far. How about you?? Hope it's not TOO confusing.. it's about 12 in the morning.. a good midnight for me. It's normal to be up at midnight.. but not to be this tired. I bet once I turn off the laptop I'll be like "OMG!! AWAKE!!" lol. how tipical.

Thank you to everyone who commented and put up with my HORRIBLE grammar. I love you all.

NOW! Faithful COMMENTS!!

Ahiru-senpai - you should get an account. It makes life SOO much easier. And more organized! You get all kinds of alerts! - lol And thank you soo much for the comment. It helps. And no, Yuki knew that Kyo was Kyo at all points. Though if you bring up what part you were thinking of I can try to help you out in interpretating it.

Yume-Asakura - Yes, there are more chapters after 8. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

lolli.pop9 - heheh. I know exactly how you feel with wanting to cry, but you don't want to explain to those around you why! I cried once because of a book in the middle of class and I was SOO embarassed when I had to go to the guidance counselor about it! But thank you! I am actually quite proud of Chapter 6 my self!

mousecat - Thank you for still enjoying the story. And for the answers you'll just have to wait and see (I'm not even sure myself! lol)

kia014 - I keep getting this same question but I can't figure out the point where it's at. please elaborate. lol -

SO! JUST INCASE!! HELP!! If ever there is a point you (anyone) don't understand. Elaborate on it. I got the same question. But I can't pinpoint where in the story you all mean. So please elaborate next time -


	10. Yuki 10

A/N- Oi.. I really do need to be getting better at this! lol. But! Here I am with hopefully something for the next chapter or so. 3 Hope you all enjoy it

Disclaimer- I do not own anything but the general plot line of this story. Any background and halabaloo of the characters is owned by someone famous.

Yuki 10

I've been home now for nearly a month and a half. I'm finally catching up on school work and the council work is fitting more nicely into my schedule. Life is going back to normal; even Kyo is back to normal. He's not sleeping above my room anymore. Not since a few weeks ago. I think he only felt guilty and for that guilt he felt an attraction. It must be the reason because he doesn't come anywhere near me now. I can't help but wonder if he only cared for me because he felt guilty about the accident. So what if he never did care about me? It shouldn't affect me, he's meant for Tohru. I'm his enemy. The reason he's not in the zodiac. It doesn't matter anyways. It's forbidden in so many ways. So I'll just have to get over him. It should be easy. I never got too deep into him.. us. I guess I can't really say that can I? There never really was a "us" or anything plural. There was never anything truly between Him and me. I guess that's a good thing. It makes this all easier. It makes everything all harder to think about. It makes me not want to.

My alarm buzzes off. This isn't the first time I've woken before my alarm. It's happened every morning since… Well since the hospital. I move my hand quickly to smack the alarm gently and shut it off before I sit up. I allow my body a few moments to rest and get ready to be active. I eventually stand, pulling out my clothes for today. It's Friday, the second to the last day of school for the week. I'm glad to get a break soon. I set my things at the end of the bed. When it's done I strip down, placing my bed clothes in a small hamper as I do, and then replacing them with my school uniform. When I'm finished I gather up my various school papers and put them in my bag before preparing to leave my room to get some breakfast. But I'm not hungry. I haven't been lately. In fact I've been throwing up the majority of meals. They don't want to stay down. Dinner usually will stay down. But breakfast rarely does. Lunch will on occasion. But none the less I have to eat, less Tohru worry for me. So I walk down the stairs to take my place at the Kotatsu. It's cold already. Time has been moving quickly, it's already going to be winter soon. I simply sit there, staring at the television. It's the daily weather report. They say it will be a seventy-five percent chance of rain. So I glance outside. It's raining. Does that mean that there's a twenty-five percent chance it will stop of that the weather man was twenty-five percent wrong?

Tohru sets an omelet in front of me. I remember loving her omelets; she always made them so sweet. She always puts too much sugar in it, but I like that. It makes it taste better in my opinion, give it a better taste. There's also a small bowl of rice I take a bit of the egg. It's quail. Even better. I dab a small bit of soy sauce on it and mix in a small amount of rice with each bite. It's a shame my stomach won't agree with it. I can feel it protesting now, just as id did yesterday. And the day before.

"uki-" I finally hear it and recognize it. I look up and around. Shigure and Tohru are sitting around the table. Kyo's not here yet. A small twinge of pain courses through me as I realize he's not awake yet. I didn't wake him up. Then again I'm not thinking about him anymore. So it shouldn't matter. No, he doesn't matter. Shigure's talking again. He thinks I've been paying attention. "So you'll be stopping by Hatori's on your way home."

"Hatori?" I find myself asking before I can stop my lips from moving. I was thinking too hard.

"For your check up?" It sounded like he wasn't of himself. Maybe he's just not sure of me. I'm not sure which at this moment, but I don't want to ask and find out. So I let it be, nod, and continue to eat my breakfast that won't stay down anyways. Enjoy what I can while I can…

English.. Kyo is in my class. I'm so lucky it's almost halfway through the day. I went to the bathroom to get rid of my breakfast in a private manor earlier. What a waste of food. I'm only worrying about this afternoon now. I didn't think about it earlier but Hatori will know, he'll find out that I'm not keeping anything down. That I haven't been sleeping. That I'm throwing up just about everything I eat. As if that would be the best part. He'll look at me. He will look at me with those eyes that I've been getting from everyone. But his will be worse. His will have the eyes of knowledge behind that pity and sorrow because he was there when it happened. He will look at me with pity, sorrow, guilt, and knowledge. As if anything was his fault. He couldn't have stopped what had happened. The things that- I'm not going to think of this. I'll just end up bringing up imaginary food from my systems. For now I'll concentrate on my work and get through the day. And hope to Hell that I can keep down my lunch.

I'm stopped at a convenience store now. It's stopped raining outside. So I'm wondering if that weather reporter would be right if it only rained seventy-five percent of the day. It's a question I'll have to keep pondering, I guess. I've bought three bottles of water. My lunch stayed down, but I still don't look as I should. I also weigh a few pounds less than I should. Maybe more. So I'm drinking all the water I can. My body will absorb what is can and make my skin look better. It will also weigh me down at least a little. Anything more than what I weigh now is better. So I begin drinking them as I walk to the main house, I'm not too far. I can practically see it. I feel my body protesting the water but I will force it with all I can. I will make sure that it stays down.

It isn't long before I arrive at Hatori's door. I make sure to go straight to him and not through the house to get to him. I don't want to meet anyone else. I don't even want to see him. But I have to, and so I knock on the door and wait patiently for someone to answer. His assistant does and I am momentarily reminded of the woman he once loved that was his assistant for a time. She smiles wide and greets me, formally of course, and lets me through the door. She takes my umbrella and bag and set them up. I kick off my shoes and make my way inside to his office. I ponder for a moment whether she's of the Sohma family or now. But the thought soon flitted from my brain as I walked into Hatori's office for my check up. And there it was, as he looked up. That look stretched and drooped and poured off his face. His mouth opened, his throat closing off the words. I opened my own mouth to avoid it all as quickly as possible. "It's been a while." A casual thing to say, to show I am normal and not wrong. That's what he wants. Me to be alright. Or maybe he just wants me to appear it so that he can pretend that nothing had ever happened. Maybe he really doesn't care.

"How are you feeling?" His face slipped back into it's calm reserve. "Anything odd? Are you sleeping well after that accident?" Does he honestly believe I will tell the truth to any of these? No. I won't. I lie to him about everything. Tell him I'm find and that everything is normal. The only thing I add is that my appetite has been off due to the medication the hospital had put me on. He further inquires on my days, how have I been doing at home, physically, mentally and emotionally. I lie to everything again, letting him hear everything that he wants to hear. What makes me feel bad isn't that I am lying straight to his face but that he knows it and still he writes down everything I say and doesn't repeat anything twice. He doesn't even give any physical sign that he knows. No deep sighs, no extended gazes or pauses. The only way I can tell is by the look inside his eyes, or at least the one eye that I can see. At least now I know he cares. The questions continue and my responses continue to be lies upon lies to let him hear what he wants. After that came the stethoscopes, the eye checks, the general checks that always happen and are concluded with the weighing. I step on the scale and he measures it out by sliding the weights. He stares at the numbers then looks at me. What is he thinking? Can my weight really be that bad? There's no way it could be so low. What is he thinking? He tells me to step off the scale and so I do. He then resets it and has me step back up on the scale. I stand there at attention as he calculates my weight once again. He stares at the numbers and then at me once again. I don't look up to meet his gaze. I can feel his eyes already, I don't want to see them. I don't want to see whatever is there. He tells me to step off and have a seat, and I do. I don't even glance in his direction. I'm too afraid what I might see. I hear footsteps padding away and the door open then closes. He's gone without a word. I'm left alone in the room, only the ticking of the clock on his desk to keep me company along with my worry. It only takes about eight minutes and forty-two seconds for the door to open again and the feet to pad towards me again. His arms wrap around me-

My body instantly freezes as I feel the contact of another body on mine. I don't look and I try my hardest not to smell, or even harder, react. A familure voice is speaking but I'm not hearing it, I'm only looping that room in my thoughts and that face. My head is spinning. My memories racing to those hours before the accident. His hand is moving to my cheek. Now caressing it, he's moving my face. I close my eyes tight. I don't want to see him. I don't want to be here any longer. I wish I hadn't come. I wish- and his hand is gone. There's no more contact at all. His entire weight has left me. I chance it. I peel a faction of an eyelid up. It's too blurry to see. My heart racing still. I open it more, put a hand up incase I need to defend myself. My eye opens the rest of the way and I see hatori holding back my dazed brother. Hatori looks scared. Maybe worried would be a better word. Ayame looks… hurt? And confused. I go to open my mouth before I realize it's already open. I can't think of anything to say so I close it and stare back silently. Hatori is the first to speak.

"Yuki… Are you okay?" A standard question. One that he already knew the answer for. A standard question that I would I would answer with a lie. A standard answer that he will know to be a lie. And he will ignore it and let me go. So I opened my mouth slowly, calculating myself precisely to make sure that this lie came out perfectly.

"I was only startled. I'm not used to contact. You should know that" I curved my mouth awkwardly into that position that represents happiness. It felt like it wasn't correct and something inside me because screaming that I shouldn't have don't that. I saw Ayame react first. His feature fell and he shook his head three slow times before turning to leave. He shut the door behind him as he left. Just as I knew this would happen. It worked.

"Yuki.. I think you should be seeing someone.. to talk to them about.. everything." It didn't work! I turned to look at him. My expression must have scared him because his features changed to shock for a moment. I had to admit, I was angry. He shook his head, as if shaking off a thought. "Yuki, you need help. You have things wrong with you. Something very traumatic happened and-"

I couldn't stand his words. "What _isn't_ wrong with me?!" I didn't realize how my voice roared "I'm cursed, and on top of that curse I have another that forces me to hate someone against my will, to battle and defend my title constantly. On top of _that_ the leader of our family has some psychotic obsession with me! You think my life was ever normal? At least a fraction of your normality? You think I can just go to a shrink and talk to them about all these problems?!" I was panting when I had finished, the verge of an asthma attack. That was the first time I said even a fraction of what I was thinking, what I was feeling, in a long while. Longer than the accident.

There was a couch in the other room before the office door re-opened. Both our heads snapped over to see who it was. Kuerno stood there, holding the door silently open. His face sagged in a way I could only hope mine would never mirror. Behind him was, as I had already figured, Akito. He walking in casually, straight to me. I moved my chair backwards to get away from him. It didn't seem to faze him, he knew I didn't have many option after I hit the wall. "You can talk to me" He smiled that wicked smile of his and I swear I felt needles prickle up my legs. "We can talk all day. All night. In fact, why don't you take off school tomorrow. We will talk come more."

All I could do was feel the tears at the corners of my eyes and the needles prick deeper and spread farther along my body. And I realized that my face would soon mirror the other member of the zodiac's. The only member who I could ever justify as having any similar curse as mine. Only I considered his worse.


End file.
